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Freedom and Matrimony

It was over 100 degrees today and this ghost of a girl avoided the outdoors like the plague. Consider that my obligatory “it is SO HOT outside/I am melting/WAHHHH” comment!

In other news, the wedding planning is coming along quite well! My advice to you aspiring brides out there: be realistic. About every single thing. If you don’t have time or energy to manage additional, but inevitable, interpersonal conflict, keep your bridal party small. If you aren’t a fan of planning events as simple as a birthday party, save enough money for you to be able to afford to have someone do it for you OR keep your wedding simple and small. Remember that you can’t please everyone and despite what they all think, you shouldn’t have to. This day is about you, your husband-to-be, and the parents giving you away. Second to that, it’s also about the siblings that have loved you more than they have tolerated you over the years, and the grandparents who have doted upon and cherished you since the first wail that escaped your lips as you flew out of your Mother’s body.

Don’t be a jerk, but don’t tolerate anyone else being a jerk either.

Yeah, an awesome party to celebrate your union with all of your beloved friends and family is great… But what is more great is starting your new life together in peace and without bitter memories of dozens of unnecessary arguments and misunderstandings.

In all. I have been very blessed by everyone involved in my wedding to date! There have been frustrations I would have rather not had, but I think that they have happened because other people care. That’s the only excuse for it, and these people purportedly love Matt and I –despite our confusion as to why sometimes! — so that is the only explanation that makes sense to me. We could have handled things better with those situations ourselves as well. It’s water under the bridge and we are both thrilled with the way everything is shaping up and the journey that it has been with everyone.. But I would be remiss to not offer any insight or advice to others out there that are or may someday be in my shoes.

Don’t sweat the small stuff, and take the bull by the horns, in a spirit of graciousness, from the beginning.

That said, I would also advise against attempting to plan a large wedding while also working towards graduating from college and finding a job. I have read too many comics and watched too many Marvel movies. I say this because I really thought, using my many sizable accomplishments over the past two years — most of which were worked towards in unison — that I could handle all of this. The fact is, however, that if I hadnt had my family, Matt, his family, and my bridesmaids… Nothing would have gotten started until June and most of it wouldn’t have been ready by August 11.

So take all of that for what it is… Humble advice from a scatterbrained, but thrilled, bride!

Moving on…

If you’re a fan of Amanda Hocking, you should check out her recent blog related to her upcoming release of Wake, a book that I am REALLY excited for. If you are a fellow author, or even an aspiring one such as myself, and you would like to connect with her in a mutually beneficial, creative way… She is seeking input! You can find the post and more info here!

I realized today, while working on some very interesting and exciting projects at work — loving it!! — that I have no solidified plans for the Fourth of July. The American Veterans Travelling Tribute memorial wall will be on campus and I think I would like for Matt and I to come out that day, but I don’t have any plans involving debauchery, explosions, or bonfires this year.

I think that I am content with that.

I have really been reflecting upon what this holiday is supposed to be, and perhaps that is because of my trip this spring to our nation’s Capitol. As many of you know, this is my all time favorite place to visit. I would seriously consider living there if I had the opportunity and Matt were willing to oblige. The history… The beauty… The walking… The culture… The resources… The Library of Congress! I can’t get enough!

I think I may spend the holiday this year doing what we are actually intended to do: reflect on its meaning, on those who came before us to establish a democracy under which we can have the freedoms that our Veterans defend, and perhaps even — if he is willing — learning more about my dad’s time as a Marine.

I told him a few months ago that I would like to learn more about his service to our country, and he was instantly suspicious about my motives. I would assume this is because he knew I am writing a lot more and thought I wanted to know for the purpose of research. Granted, only months before I had begged him to let me keep an Army combat training manual that he found at an auction (he let me, by the way!), but I really want to know more about his experiences simply as his daughter. A daughter who loves him and respects him, as a man, father, and a soldier.

I remember him walking around the house singing Marine Corps songs loudly, annoying my mom to no end, and my brother and I used to just laugh and laugh. I remember stories about him on floats and pictures of him on camels. I want the stories of him on camels. I want the stories of him in distant lands that I will probably never see.

I want to know what the story of how it feels to be a hero. That is what my father is, you know.

I would rather have a hero for a father than the president or a king any day.

Happy Fourth of July everyone! Do be happy… We are free!

C.F. Boehlke

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Discussion

2 thoughts on “Freedom and Matrimony

  1. I think things are going to be wonderful for your wedding..Not only is your father a hero military wise,,he has come thru more health life threatening issues than anyone in the family. He is always there for his family. And you write beautifully. And my I be the first to put this in print…Mrs. Matthew Boehlke, Mrs. Cassandra Fawn Boehlke, and if your father had his way, Mrs. Cassandra Chester-Boehlke.. lol

    Posted by Martha Noak Chester Johnson | June 29, 2012, 2:25 pm
  2. Thank you Mema! We have already talked about your comment in person, but it really did make my day and also made me laugh! Love ya!

    Posted by cfboehlke | July 2, 2012, 3:41 am

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